Now's my chance, here in France.

Expectations.

My semester here in Paris has proven to bring about and challenge expectations that I have my life. As I only have three weeks left of the semester, I thought I would share with you three of the top expectations that I had going into this experience, and my thoughts looking back on them.

(Throughout this post, I am going to share pictures from the agriculture festival held on the Champs-Elysees, as well as my visit to Père Lechaise, a famous cemetery in Paris.)

Champs-Elysees was turned into this!

Just hanging out in the middle of the Champs-Elysees with no cars.

1. I will be fluent in French!

As much as I wish this were true, it isn’t anywhere near accurate. Even my host mother (who is a French professor for international students) told me students thinking they will come out of such a short period time abroad being fluent in a language are very much disappointed to find that that just isn’t true. It takes years to become fluent. To be honestly able to smoothly know a language is a struggle, and not something that can be microwave-learned. This expectation that I (and others from home) have put on myself was a source of stress many times throughout this semester. I wanted so badly to come back spouting out French whenever I wanted to, being able to impress all my friends. I felt for a long time that if that didn't happen after this journey, I would have failed. I would feel stupid if someone asked me something in French and I didn't know how to respond. Through these months in Paris, I have finally realized that any improvement is improvement. I still can’t understand a lot of oral French, but all I can do is continue to practice and strive towards the goals I want to achieve with this language. Many times, I found myself being incredibly hard on myself, doubting my intelligence and ability to comprehend others. I’ve finally grasped that beating myself up for my struggle in certain areas of the language doesn’t help me at all. I have to give myself more credit than that. I've had many dinners with my host family where I have been able to comprehend a decent percentage of what was going on, and several opportunities to practice my speaking abilities. I listen to teachers speak only french 12 hours a week, and I have seen an increase of my comprehension in the classroom setting. Overall, I feel the semester has given me a boost in my knowledge of the French language.

Women kiss the grave of Oscar Wilde. It's...wild. ha.

The grave of Edith Piaf.

2. The friends I make in Paris will be fun, but I don’t think I will make long-term friendships.

Wrong, wrong, wrong. Four months is a long time, and it is definitely enough time to create and develop wonderful friendships. The friends I have made here have proven to be incredibly amazing and beautiful people. It was such a great adventure to discover and fall in love with this city alongside such great friends. I consider myself so lucky to have had people in my life here who I could talk to, complain to, have fun with, and open my eyes to different views of the world. As cliché as it sounds, the people I met here were just as important to me as was my experience with Paris. They go hand in hand.

3. I won’t be different when I come back to the States.

Once again, wrong. Change is such an interesting part of life. Most of the time, people are scared of change. They detest the mix-up of tempos, the clashing color, the offbeat opinion. I always assumed that I would come out of this semester as the same George, just with a widened worldview. Although that is true, there are many more dimensions to it than just that. I have had the opportunity to go to several breathtaking countries, see masterpieces of art, live a fast-paced Parisian life, meet beautiful people, and within all that, challenge myself. I am amazed, looking back, at how the dozens of conversations that I had with people here brought me to a place I never thought I would have been able to go. Being as my program is seen as a cultural experience above all else, it is funny to me that I naively thought I wouldn’t be influenced by the culture I was going to live in. I am George. I am still George, but I feel new at the same time. As my friend Johannah put it, we’ve become “enhanced”. It really is the best word to describe the transformation that has occurred within each of us here in Paris. We have all been exposed to so much history and a world that is full of rich culture. It's not hard to see how it is easy to expand your horizons while abroad. Circumstances, good and bad, have allowed us to open our eyes to things, and at the same time sharpen our convictions on others. So is it changing who I am, or is it becoming who I was already meant to be? I like to think that it's a bit of both. I have challenged my peers, been challenged in return, and a wonderful appreciation for life has been achieved because of it. Life would be boring if you never challenged yourself. (All of that to say, I'm still me! It's hard to write it out exactly how I feel about it).

Most of my friends leave tomorrow morning for the US, and a handful of us will be here for another three weeks. I am grateful to have the chance to spend extra time here trying to soak up more of the language and culture before I leave.

Affecteusement,

George